My Disappointment in Fashion

So, I just got done with being pregnant seven months ago. My maternity clothes were the cutest ever. I loved wearing them. I felt adorable and especially pretty in them.
After having the cutest baby ever, and looking in my old wardrobe, I decided it's probably time to get at least a few new things. From what I had surveyed while I was pregnant, it seemed that fashion was a little out of what I usually like wearing, but that was probably just the trendy stuff I was seeing that would be out of style in a few months, right? WRONG!
What I see in stores and in magazines is horrendous. I'm literally terrified. It's like someone took the worst of the worst from every era, broke every rule, and threw it all in a blender. Oh, and the more plaids, polka dots, stripes, and whatnot you mix, the better. Uggghhhh....

One store that I absolutely {used to} love was Down East Basics. Lovely, modest, well-fitting, and classy. I could always count on finding something there. Recently though, within about the last year or two, the clothing line has steadily gone downhill, I'm sad to say. The last few times I've ventured in there, I've tried on about half the store and come out empty handed. "Ooh, this looks cute...too tight in the shoulders. Next size up? Too large. How about this? Um...I look like an over-sized daffodil...This one? Eh...It's made for twiggy girls. What about this? Not what I expected..."

Needless to say, I've been pretty disappointed in my once favorite store. I do get their magazine and emails though and look through them before throwing them away. I got my November issue in the mail a couple days ago and finally found some time to sit down to take a look at it.

Well, the cover looks harmless. Maybe things will be better. 

First page. Maybe not what I'd be dying to wear, but it is nice. This could be a good issue!

Now this is really cute. I love the striped T under that cardigan. I know what I'd like for Christmas. ;)

Hmmm, not my fav, especially the scarf. The dress on the right is cute, but I don't see it looking right on me...moving on.

Ugh, not a fan of the ugly colored, sequin covered fish tail and the seemingly armless lady. The last picture was okay, this one, not so much, which is okay because that happens. The next one will be good, right?

Okay, I was in total shock when I saw this. The one on the right, not so bad really, okay at best, but the one on the left... O.O

 

And what may be wrong with this monstrosity? EVERYTHING. It's like someone decided to combine Paul Bunyan and a 50's housewife. Can't find the time to take care of the household chores and chop your firewood? That's what this outfit was made for, honey.

Seriously though, who wears pearls with...that? Nothing feminine about the homeless man heels either. And the socks? Um, who wears socks with a skirt anyway? Especially frumpy thrift store ones?

I just love wearing my over sized T-shirt while sitting on my display table in front of the stairs, don't you?

Okay, this was actually really cute. I would wear either of those. Everything about these two looks great.

The outfit on the right is so ugly you hardly even pay attention to the one on the left. Upon showing it to my husband, he was immediately reminded of this:

Yeah, me too. 

Once I had gotten over my split second, initial panic and took a double take of what I thought to be a naked lady in a clothing magazine (super ironic), I vowed I would never ever ever ever ever wear anything that looked the same color as my skin. Ever.

What is that pink frilly thing hanging out of her potato sack? O.o

You know the long things hanging off your shoulders? Yeah, they're called sleeves. Poor thing doesn't even know how to dress herself. Tut-tut. 

Oh, and btw, on the right, Worst. Necklace. Ever. Both of them.

And now we run into a few things that aren't so bad. I like the design on the skirt. Not a fan of the plaid though. It's okay.

Both of these are good, but the one on the left is better. Except for the necklace...

Thank goodness they still have the basics. 

Pay no attention to the barf colored shawl on the right. 

On the left: Now THIS is the way to do a plaid shirt.With jeans. Not a banana skirt.

THIS

NOT this. Ever.

Not huge on those leggings, but the outfit is all right. I'd like jeans better. The outfit on the right would be great if you threw the clown socks out.

This headband is actually really cute. Very pretty. :)

Thank goodness they don't expect me to decorate my house the same way they dress themselves. The home decor section is actually really nice, I must say.

And there you have it. Looks like I'll be wearing my old, out of date stuff until this all passes. *sigh*